It’s pretty easy (and relatively cheap) to get to the Zappanale from the UK via one of the capital's airports. Just follow us!

For those that need ’em, there are coaches from London Victoria Coach Station to Stansted that run every 10 minutes all through the night. The coach stops at various London locations (Marble Arch, etc.) – see www.nationalexpress.com for more. The cheapest return ticket costs around £21.

In the past, we have booked flights from London Stansted (STN) to Berlin-Schönefeld International Airport (SXF) via www.ryanair.com. The sooner you book, the cheaper it is – our return tickets cost us between £150-£200 each. From Berlin, you can jump on a semi-commercial express bus (SXF1), which runs every 20 minutes to Berlin-Südkreuz rail station (and avoids going into the city centre); the bus fare is about €8. From Südkreuz, travel by train to Bad Doberan Bahnhof (there are other Bad Doberans, so ensure you get to the one near Rostock). They are local trains, so you cannot reserve seats. And you may have to change at Wismar and Rostock – but don’t worry, it’s much easier than in Britain.

Alternatively, you can fly to Hamburg Airport (HAM) – and if you go on Wednesday, you can catch Ensemble Fuse & Napoleon Murphy Brock at St. Katharinen's church. We find it best to hire a car in Hamburg and drive up to Bad Doberan. It's quite a straightforward journey, taking just over two hours – though actually getting out of Hamburg and on to the autobahn can be a little stressful for those unused to continental driving! (If you'd prefer to travel by train from Hamburg, there's some helpful info here.)

We – Zappanale ‘old hands’, the Idiot Bastard and Uncle Ian – usually return to the UK late on the following Monday.

When you arrive at Bad Doberan station, don’t jump straight onto ‘Molli’, the steam train that will take you to the racecourse where the festival is held: instead, follow her track into town, and check out the bust of FZ; buy your provisions at Lidl or Aldi (if you are camping), then hop onto Molli at one of the stops as she clanks through the town (special Zappanale timetable here).